41 \ Never Again.

November 2014
Tinder date. Great pictures – portrayed style, composed confidence, very attractive. Good description (yes, I read them). She was a professional. Successful. Decent chat and phone calls. Arranged to meet up a few days out. The day of, my gut says cancel. Instead I suggest I pick her up (why do I do this to myself!).

I arrive. Someone that looks like they just fell out of a tumble dryer greets me. Nothing like the pictures. One of the first things she asks – ‘Do I look like my picture?’. In my head I’m like no you fucking don’t look like your pictures and you know it, why would you even ask that? But I say ‘Sure’ because I’m a super nice guy and since I offered to pick her up there really is no way out. While she’s looking for her keys I consider for a moment to peel out and bail. But no. That would be mean. Bollocks. I’m also an idiot it seems.

So, of course, as mentioned previously, I make the best of it – that’s what I do. Ate somewhere new (and it was really good) and went somewhere way out of my comfort zone, and it was okay, the whole time hoping no one I knew would see me. Because it was kind of that bad. (I didn’t know they still made blue eye shadow.) Someone I knew did see me and I totally averted eyes and attention and kept on walking. Bloody hell.

Conversation was really forced. And the more she talked the less attractive she got. Despite this, instead of ending the date, I suggest we go onward. To the next thing. Because I’m super nice. And an idiot. She wants to dance. I don’t dance, but hey, I’m down for doing something new and get something from this train wreck of a date. We get to where we’re going, I continue to cover costs. Band is great. Fun and happening place. She doesn’t like the style of dancing. Ok. More talk. Less attractive. Narrow views. Borderline racist, it seems. Wow. This was really happening. We ‘dance’ one time. I’m ready to go. Take her home. She shows me her house. She likes me, she says. We kiss. I leave. Goodbye.

I strive to see the best in people but I can’t help think that her intention was deception. Posting photos that project an image of perhaps who you wish to be is understandable. That fact that she asked if she looked like her pictures implies that she had more intent. Perhaps. I imagine this is common. Unfortunately. Doesn’t really matter – I plan to not let it happen to me again.

Three mistakes that, 18 months into dating-dom, I should know by now not to make and that I hope to not make again:
– Do not pick up (unless there’s a lot more ‘validation’)
– Go with your gut – I wanted to cancel, my spidey-sense was letting me know it would be a disaster
– It’s ok to end the date. I’m a super nice guy. I wanted to end it early, ended up going longer, spending more, and making out…..

Ugh. Never again.


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