53 & 54 \ Stars and Bars

April 2015
A double header. Two dates in a day. I’d done this once or twice. Not a common occurrence. Sometimes it’s efficient to plan the ‘coffee’ date and then the ‘drinks’ date. The notion of a coffee date is a bit bollocks anyways so expectations where low.

I met 53 on Hinge, and in fact my one and only Hinge date thus far. At this point, nearly two years into dating, my appetite for dating beyond my type – or dating anyone – is still alarmingly high. 53 seemed interesting, and this date was to satisfy curiosity more than anything else. She was a musician – a singer, and released several records of new age-y type stuff. She was also an astrologist. Fortune teller. That would stop most people in their tracks. Not me. No. Curiosity. I have to meet this person.

We met for coffee late morning. I had a busy day, and thought it a good idea to let my curiosity plan my day. It was a beautiful sunny morning, before all this rain. I got there first and sat outside. She arrived shortly after and, well, she was pretty much what I expected to meet. A bit older than pictured.  A bit scattered.

Why do I do this to myself? Boredom. Impatience. Being open means I’m open to these potentially time-wasting endeavors. I do gain as much as I can from them, and that’s how I justify my actions. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Why not? At the very least, gain a friend (although I’ve had very little success making friends via online dating – super low friend-match rate).  I did get a good horoscope reading – she had done her homework.

We had an acquaintance in common. We talked music. About her project. Mostly about her – the self-absorbed musician. That was fine. I’m a good listener and am, yep, curious. I needed to get on to my next appointment for the day. A ‘nice to meet you’, and we were off.

I had met 54 via OkCupid. She was blonde, attractive, a bit of a psych and indie rock chick. Dark. Interesting. Elusive. My type. I was attracted. And intrigued. I got her number and we moved off the site and into text mode. She was very hesitant about meeting someone she had met online. Shortly after we started talking, she closed her OKC account. Her reluctance would persist but we eventually got into a good rhythm with our texts. A few efforts later we arranged to meet up for an early evening drink.

That afternoon, after I had coffee with 53, she texted. “Would it be in horrible bad taste to invite my friend along?” Yes, kind of, I thought. “Of course not”, I replied. This is a first, what the hell, it will be interesting.

I arrived at the bar in South Austin. The day was still beautiful, and the evening was perfect. A look around and she was sat outside, friend in tow. She was attractive in person, and still reluctant. We started talking, the three of us. At some point her friend went to the loo, and we took those moments to talk directly to each other. It was good. We had a good number of rounds – beer. I went inside to order, and she came with me. There was a moment – she was walking next to me, and it felt really good – chemistry in motion. We glanced at each other, walking in step, chatting and smiling. Electric.

Back to the table we continued to talk, her friend eventually starting to drift off into her phone. They had been roommates once, and my date was almost apologetic about her – “we have nothing in common other than we used to live together” she stated.

All beered up, we made our way to Casino South. She liked to drink. So did I. Drinks ordered, we went outside. The friend stayed in, so we had some additional 1×1 time. Some time later, her friend came out with a guy she had just met, saying she was heading out (with him). Sweet. Matchmakers – at least we got her friend laid. My date was embarrassed but I totally thought it was funny – the friend was a train wreck – it was worth her tagging along for extra entertainment.

We chatted and laughed some more. I liked her, despite her being guarded and cautious. Sometime just prior to closing we made an exit. We ran into some friends of hers, and chatted for a bit. I walked her to her car. We made out. We didn’t want the night to end. But said our goodnights and off we went.

The next day we texted. Flirty texts, the kind you like to have. It was fun – we enjoyed each other, the night before, and the silliness of her friend made it all the more hilarious. We agreed it would be great to spend more time together. We attempted to connect again but we never did. It fizzled. I’m not sure why. I was interested in seeing her again. She was interested in seeing me. My hypothesis is that the reluctance and hesitance was real – she wasn’t really ready to have any kind of connection.

In any case, it was a fun day, and felt good to have an electric moment or two.


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