82 \ Jess.

March 2016
Met 82 via OKCupid. She appeared attractive, interesting, direct, and also in the same line of work as myself. She also had a young baby. This is not something I was clamoring for. My kids are older – middle and high school now. But in the spirit of being open to anything, I proceeded. I would learn something at the very least. A few messages, some delays via busy schedules, child care, travel, etc, and we eventually met.

We met for coffee one day, both of us making a break from the day job. She was attractive in person, quiet, organized, a designer, had her stuff together. She was also into good music, art, creative, and had a great style. I liked her. We agreed to try and get together again soon.

Things got busy, we couldn’t get schedules to align, and our communication slipped. Her situation was challenging – working full time, single mom, infant, day care. It wasn’t the easiest to negotiate.

We ended up walking by each other one day about a month later. She was talking to a friend – work talk – so I didn’t interrupt. I did text her and said ‘hello’. We texted a bit. A few days later, we walked by each other again – this time we said hello, and had a chat. We would try again. And we did.

I met her after work soon after for happy hour. She asked if it would be okay if her daughter was there. Of course, I responded. This was a first for a date. But totally understand her situation and her reality. Her baby was super cute, about 14 months, and super happy, and very curious and very good. I like kids – babies make me smile. Do I want another one? Not really. But I’m very comfortable with them.

At some point she needed to go to the loo. “Do you mind watching her while I go?” she asked. Sure, I responded. She wasn’t gone long. And the baby was great. Thank goodness! She came back, and we were soon off. She must’ve trusted me. Or just really need to go to the loo. In any case, we hugged, said our goodbyes, and said we would see each other again.

I wasn’t sure. I liked her. She seemed really cool, and together, and interesting. But did I want a baby? Not top of the list. Indicative that 82 dates in, I’d met so few people that I could actually see being with that I’m considering a single mom with an infant.

We had a devil of a time getting schedules to work. We would try, not get it to work, and then it would fizzle. Run into each other, chat, then fizzle. Finally, by June, I invited her and the baby to my pool one Sunday afternoon after seeing each other walking. She texted at 3pm, day of, saying she was still on a client call. She very well could have been, or could have been blowing me off. I left it at that, and we haven’t seen each other or chatted since.

At some point I’m sure we’ll pass each other again. It’s a small town. And we’ll catch up and go from there.

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