98 \ Woof.

Posted on by Bristol

September 2016

We met on Tinder and had work friends in common. Some snappy, buzzing texts and we soon met for happy hour. She was smart, attractive with a good bit of goof mixed in, and had that disarming midwestern charm. Chatting was effortless and we flitted from subject to subject with ease.

We had a few drinks and then decided to move onto the next venue. More drinks, more chats, and we should have likely eaten something, as I know I was feeling a bit tipsy, and with that, a bit amorous. I walked her to car, and we made out.

And that was it. A few texts saying we’d meet up, but we never did. Some attraction but some goofiness (lacking a better term here, but that captures it) that was hard to get past. And she used ‘woof’ in texts. And in real life.

65 \ 24 Light Years From Tulsa

Posted on by Bristol

August 2015

She was a teacher from Tulsa, and she had a crazed look about her. That’s not the start of a country song, it’s the start of this date. We met on Coffee Meets Bagel, a few chats, and soon met for a drink. New to Austin, she was still getting her bearings, on all accounts. Not a lot to connect on, and a number of flags went up through the course of the hour so we chatted. And that was that.

66 \ Princess.

Posted on by Bristol

August 2015

I had seen her profile on a few sites, and with photos and headshots that made her appear very attractive, my initial assumption is that this was a fake account. However, nothing ventured, nothing gained – I sent her a message. And then a reply. A bit of chat, and we soon arranged to meet.

She was attractive, as pictured, and quickly got the sense that this was a ‘career’ dater – the chat, her story, her posture – responses were poised, contained rehearsed. Nice, but nothing too deep. We had a drink or two and, running out of chat, I walked her to the garage where she was parked. She climbed into her Escalade, and off she went.

38 \ Fatty Boom Boom.

Posted on by Bristol

September 2014

We matched on Match, and texted and chatted for a good while without meeting – getting schedules to line up was a challenge. Then one morning I received a message – “Do you like Die Antwoord? They are playing in Las Vegas this weekend. Do you want to go?” A blind-ish airport first date meet up at 6am for a weekend trip to Vegas? I’m in.

I picked up the tickets for the show, travel arrangements made (due to schedules, separate flights), itineraries shared, and a plan to meet poolside at the Cosmopolitan. Heck yes. Lots of excited texts and a few calls in the run up.

The morning of, we text at 5am or whatever at the airport. I’m getting ready to board, she’s going through security. Make that stuck in security. She misses the flight. Rescheduled. Arriving around 2pm. Okay.

I get into LV at around 10am or something ridiculous. Check in, wonder about the hotel, and then make my way to the pool area and hang out.

And pretty much hang out all day until 5pm or so, when we meet in one of the lobbys. She’s cute, as advertised, a little shy. She says she’s not feeling that well. We decide food is in order and make our way to a restaurant.

Chit chat, and soon we head towards the show, which is at the pool. Die Antwoord at a pool show in Vegas is pretty epic and it was. The date, was okay. She wasn’t feeling well, or not into me, or both. It was a good time regardless – the scene was as awesome as you would expect.

We grabbed a drink after the show and by this time I could tell she wasn’t feeling it and she soon excused herself and went to bed. It was about 1030. I wandered around the hotel, gambling not being my thing, and soon followed suit to bed. It was a long day.

We didn’t see each other the next day (different flights), and exchanged a few texts – what a great night, thank you, see you in Austin.

But we didn’t follow through. We texted a few times over the next few months to a year, threatening to meet up, but it never happened. Some attraction there, but not enough.

It wasn’t quite as epic as it could’ve been but still, great show.

115 \ Smile.

Posted on by Bristol

July 2017

I had seen 115 on OkCupid for awhile, and may even have messaged her before. Her profile was brief but good, and she appeared attractive with dark hair and deep green eyes that did the smiling. A few messages and we soon met one hot afternoon.

I arrived first and she joined soon after. She was attractive and those eyes were dazzling. She started to talk and then I realized why she wasn’t smiling in any of her photos.

Her teeth were black. Anything that was said was lost on me, I could not get past the black teeth. It was a horror show. I felt bad but didn’t dwell in it – I can’t be responsible for someone’s self care. We had a coffee, I walked her to her car, and that was it.

49 \ Recover Me.

Posted on by Bristol

January 2015

We met via OKCupid and after a few texts we quickly arranged to meet. And that’s where this, and many other dates around this time, go wrong. Not spending enough time evaluating before meeting. Then again, just meeting is a good way to quickly make a call. It’s a tough one. Just like this date.

She was newish to Austin, from California, and was a Lyft driver, and a house cleaner. And she didn’t drink (see, this things could have been unearthed with a few more messages). She was on edge, and said she just quit smoking. She was a singer, but ‘had to get away from the music scene’. I didn’t pry, and I didn’t have to because much became clear once we moved to a bar.

Once we arrived she went and bummed a smoke. We sat, I had a drink, and she slowly disclosed that she used to be on crystal meth and had been sober for over a year. I congratulated her, as her gaze wondered skittishly around the outdoor patio towards what was happening elsewhere. I soon made my exit and left her at the table, another cigarette in hand, eyeing the next table.

Happy New Year.

62 \ Sunday Afternoon.

Posted on by Bristol

July 2015

This is one where I would have been pleasantly – no, just very – surprised if it went anywhere even before we met. We connected on Match.com and after little banter, arranged to meet one Sunday afternoon on Rainey.

Sometimes the dates feel like work and this one definitely did. And sometimes they just shouldn’t happen but being open to anything means trying anything and that of course has up and down sides.

Nice enough but little to chat about and zero chemistry. It was a nice early evening, not too hot, and seemed a waste to end it early but that’s what we did.

36 \ Top Chef.

Posted on by Bristol

September 2014

A connection on Match.com, she looked like she had traveled a bit, and had a point of view on art and culture. We texted, and then had a phone call before meeting in person one warm late summer night. She arrived, a bit late, and was a bit disheveled – she had just come from work.

New to Austin, she was getting her bearings and adjusting to her new surroundings. We had a chat and a drink – a bit forced and slightly boring – and think we both realized that there was little to no chemistry there. Said our goodbyes and off we went.

95 \ Batty For Lashes.

Posted on by Bristol

August 2016

We met via OKCupid. She appeared to be attractive, interesting, and funny. We chatted online for a bit, and then I asked her to meet. She wasn’t sure. She had to fit it into her schedule. Finally, she did sort it out, and we met.

It was a Sunday night, and we met at a dive bar. She was late, but that was okay. She looked different from her photos, still cute, but there was something else. Wound pretty tight. She ordered a tequila, and we began to chat. Not super easy, but we muddled through.

At some point, she talked about her OCD, how she manages and balances her obsessions and compulsions, with working and being a mother. She was smart, and quirky, and not certain that the OCD had anything to do with either (I’m by no means an expert).

It was an interesting date. We texted a few more times, but never met up again.

27 \ Kundalini Express.

Posted on by Bristol

April 2014

We matched on Tinder and soon got to chatting. We arranged to meet for a happy hour drink. She was tall, attractive, well-dressed. We sat and ordered a drink and the chat came easy. She was young, fun, and had a great smile. She was a successful yogi, slender and powerful. Sexy. We soon ordered another drink, and something to eat. Time evaporated – before we knew it we had to go – I had completely blown off another engagement to spend time with her. We walked to her car. We kissed. We would see each other soon.

We arranged to have dinner and I would pick her up from her place. It was a warm spring night, and she walked out to the car, still flush and glowing from her recent shower. She slipped into my car and we kissed. After a few moments, we left for dinner. We chatted easily, flirting, touching. The night was getting warmer, and it was only just getting started.

I took her back to her place, and she invited me in. She showed me around, and then we sat on her couch, chatting, electricity starting to build up between and around us. The windows were open and the warm breeze circulated around the old home, wisps of curtains billowing and beckoning. We made out. And we made out some more as we danced in her living room. Soon, too soon, it was time to go.

She asked me if I wanted to sleep over. But sleep only. As soon as she said it I’m pretty sure we both knew what would happen. I said yes.

Her bed was in the center of the large bedroom. All of the many windows were up and open, the curtains gently swaying, one after the other, as if in sequence. We were nearly naked, making out in her bed, the room aglow from the street lamps outside. It continued to heat up, clothes were shed, and not much sleep was had.

I woke up to birdsong and a cool breeze as the windows were still open, and it was morning. We both had our days to get to. We said our goodbyes, no regrets on the rollicking good time, and that was that. We didn’t end up seeing each other again. Whatever attraction we had for each other was fleeting. We exchanged a few texts, life and busy schedules resumed, and a final ‘all the best’ message, and we went on.

About 3 years later, I saw her at the farmer’s market, with what appeared to be her newly born (she already had two kids). I didn’t know this was in the cards for her. It certainly wasn’t for me. I didn’t say hello – no reason to – and I was happy for her – she looked happy, and as I remembered.

 

 

 

107 \ Waterloo.

Posted on by Bristol

June 2017.

We matched on Bumble and quickly started chatting. She was funny and the exchanges were quick and clever. My sapio side was sated, and she appeared to be attractive. We soon arranged to meet.

We met up. She was a good bit different from the pictures, and significantly different from what I had built up in my head. Most of what had seemed promising had vanished. Even though we quickly met in person I had built up some expectation. My mistake. Not the first time. And won’t be the last.

 

26 \ Living Doll.

Posted on by Bristol

April 2014

We met via Tinder. A few exchanges, and we soon met for lunch. Tall, blonde, attractive – but somehow off. She was doll-like – hair up, dressed up, made up, and lots of it. The lunch convo was strained and laborious. She was in ‘real estate and interior design’ but hard to pin down what she did within either one of those. A bit of a bust, I got the check and goodbye’s were said.

25 \ Road Warrior

Posted on by Bristol

April 2014

We met for a beer one afternoon. She was a sales person, on the road.  A lot. Fit. Tan. Maybe a bit leathery. Texan. Very nice. I imagine this was a swipe right to meet cool people because there was little physical attraction, and little to actually connect on.

After one drink it was goodbye. Very nice, not much in common.

120 \ Netflix, and Chill.

Posted on by Bristol

April 2018

Single again, and, for a moment, back on Tinder. As Chef Ramsey says, “Fuck me”.

She appeared attractive, we matched, and the few lines of bio were entertaining. We messaged a bit in the app, and flags appeared as some of the messages were more like outbursts. Unfiltered. Undeterred, we soon met. “I hate driving, can you pick me up?” Sure, I responded. Bollocks. Here we go.

I arrived at her apartment and she was navigating through the shambles. It was dominated by a king size bed, and boxes and clothes strewn everywhere. A broken couch was waiting to be rescued from the premises, and so was I. But, what was sure to be memorable, I could not break my gaze from the oncoming headlights of a trainwreck of a date. After she slugged the Lonestar she had in a death grip, we took off to get a drink and a bite to eat.

On the quick drive over, and once we arrived, she proceeded to disclose her life story. She was once a professional, made a lot of money, and came from money. She left that job behind, and pursued the life of a creative. She didn’t work for a long while, and, in her words, was not a good person. Drinking and drugs took their toll. She had it all, and basically had lost it all, burning all the bridges along the way. She had stopped drinking, she professed. As much.

She was entertaining, in a tragic fuck-I’m-glad-this-isn’t-me sort of way, and I could imagine the life she once had. Now, she was at the bottom, and climbing her way back up. Lucky me.

She went to the loo, and when she returned, mentioned that she had stopped at the bar and ordered herself another drink. (on my tab) At this point I was along for the ride. Where would this go – how bad of a reminder as to how ridiculous dating can be could this be?

She wanted to see my place. Okay. Why not. We went by mine. We weren’t there long. She wanted to get another drink at the bar down the street. I said I couldn’t – needed to get up early and take care of business. Somewhat true. It was time to take her home. On the way, she asked if we could stop by the store so she could pick up a bottle of wine. Sure. Why not. She grabbed said bottle, and went to her place. She invited me for a glass. Shit, why not, I’ve gone this far.

We went in, and since the couch was out of commission, we sat on her bed/pile of clothes. I noticed red wine was splattered on the wall where a headboard would be. Tunes were played via the computer. Chit chat. She said all she really wanted was to watch Netflix and have someone run their fingers through her hair. She started to cry. This struck me as so incredibly sad. Obviously! I empathized with her situation, even if it appeared to be self inflicted. To have had it all, even if completely shallow, and then to have lost it all. To be alone. This date – holy shit.

She asked me to run my fingers through her hair. I did. The alternative was to say no, and to leave. That seemed incredibly cruel. My wine was empty, and I did leave. She asked me to stay. No. Time to go.

She messaged me a few times in the next day or so. I didn’t respond, and unmatched. Way too much crazy going on there, and I did my due diligence to explore all avenues, some I never even imagined, on this first date.

Fuck me.

24 \ Don’t Lose That Number.

Posted on by Bristol

April 2014

We met via OKCupid, and after some quick chat, met up at an Antique mall. She was tall, slender, fit, attractive. New to Austin, she had lived here previously. As we wandered through the aisles, stacks of the past perched for perusal and purchase, the chit chat flowed quite comfortably. We arranged to meet again soon.

And we did. This time for some tex mex, and a margarita. Except she didn’t drink. Anymore. I think this was a first for me, and I politely, awkwardly, ordered a glass of water. The chit chat sputtered and ultimately ground to a halt. Not because alcohol wasn’t involved, but because it was an issue. Underneath the abstinence were likely layers of stories and rationale that got her to this place. Didn’t seem the right time to dig into that, especially when I knew that I enjoy a drink, and would like to be able to enjoy a drink with someone without it being a thing.

There were a few other things that came up – an estranged relationship with her daughter, a few ex-husbands, and respecting her choices, of course, we ate chips and queso awkwardly, and then soon said our goodbyes.

 

33 \ Chemistry.

Posted on by Bristol

August 2014
Chemistry is key. She said she liked indie rock. She was cute. Her profile was upbeat and funny and well written. We started chatting and we clicked. Quick. Witty. Banter. Super fun.

We had much in common. Connections to Europe. Connections to Texas. Parents. Music. We exchanged several long emails. Chemical. Very good. We graduated to the telephone. Even better. Long chats. Effortless. Exciting. Fun.

Then a lull. The holidays. Schedules. We later picked it back up. And we eventually met.

Okay, there were a few alarm bells that were ringing that made sense to overlook. The use of ‘lol’. Even once is too much. She lived in the burbs. I understand this can be out of necessity. But there was a bunch of good, and it was a bit of a thrill.

It was a warm Saturday evening. We met for drinks and dinner. She arrived. She looked like the pictures. But….different from the person I had been chatting with, kind of cheesy. And in person, the convo was difficult. Did not quite flow.

We had a drink, a bite, and then a good bye. We emailed, texted, chatted a bit after that but never got back together. In person, the chemistry just wasn’t there. The come down was hard – the disappointment that at what had appeared to be promising, was in fact not.

Two lessons learned. One – not wise to invest a large amount of time chit-chatting without meeting in person. Time investment. Emotional investment. It would take me a few more dates to fully get this. Get offline as quick as you can and see if there’s any chemistry there. Two – keep expectations realistic.

82 \ Followed The Waves.

Posted on by Bristol

March 2016
Met 82 via OKCupid. She appeared attractive, interesting, direct, and also in the same line of work as myself. She also had a young baby. This is not something I was clamoring for. My kids are older – middle and high school now. But in the spirit of being open to anything, I proceeded. I would learn something at the very least. A few messages, some delays via busy schedules, child care, travel, etc, and we eventually met.

We met for coffee one day, both of us making a break from the day job. She was attractive in person, quiet, organized, a designer, had her stuff together. She was also into good music, art, creative, and had a great style. I liked her. We agreed to try and get together again soon.

Things got busy, we couldn’t get schedules to align, and our communication slipped. Her situation was challenging – working full time, single mom, infant, day care. It wasn’t the easiest to negotiate.

We ended up walking by each other one day about a month later. She was talking to a friend – work talk – so I didn’t interrupt. I did text her and said ‘hello’. We texted a bit. A few days later, we walked by each other again – this time we said hello, and had a chat. We would try again. And we did.

I met her after work soon after for happy hour. She asked if it would be okay if her daughter was there. Of course, I responded. This was a first for a date. But totally understand her situation and her reality. Her baby was super cute, about 14 months, and super happy, and very curious and very good. I like kids – babies make me smile. Do I want another one? Not really. But I’m very comfortable with them.

At some point she needed to go to the loo. “Do you mind watching her while I go?” she asked. Sure, I responded. She wasn’t gone long. And the baby was great. Thank goodness! She came back, and we were soon off. She must’ve trusted me. Or just really need to go to the loo. In any case, we hugged, said our goodbyes, and said we would see each other again.

I wasn’t sure. I liked her. She seemed really cool, and together, and interesting. But did I want a baby? Not top of the list. Indicative that 82 dates in, I’d met so few people that I could actually see being with that I’m considering a single mom with an infant.

We had a devil of a time getting schedules to work. We would try, not get it to work, and then it would fizzle. Run into each other, chat, then fizzle. Finally, by June, I invited her and the baby to my pool one Sunday afternoon after seeing each other walking. She texted at 3pm, day of, saying she was still on a client call. She very well could have been, or could have been blowing me off. I left it at that, and we haven’t seen each other or chatted since.

At some point I’m sure we’ll pass each other again. It’s a small town. And we’ll catch up and go from there.

93 \ Headshot.

Posted on by Bristol

August 2016
I met 93 via OKCupid. She was attractive, and we chatted a bit, but not long, and soon met for a drink. Tall, slender, a bit on the new age-y side. Let’s see where this goes.

She soon told me she’s an actress, not working, not able to find work, and looking to leave Austin within the month. What the fuck are we doing here then, I thought? We had a drink, some uninteresting chitchat, and then I ‘had to go’. I made my exit. Goodbye.

34 \ Texas Two Step.

Posted on by Bristol

September 2014
I met 34 via Tinder. We had a mutual friend in common, in fact it was 15. They were uncannily similar. Both in the same industry, similar looks, and builds. We had a few chats, a shared love for vintage cars, and soon arranged to meet.

It was a warm afternoon, and we met for a drink in the early evening. She was attractive, and drove a 50s Buick. She kind of had that 50s thing going on as well, which is not totally my thing – she wore it well. We had a good chat, and it was easy and comfortable. We were around the same age, and we had plenty of common ground we could cover. At some point we had a lovely kiss – we were obviously getting on quite well.

We decided to move on the the next place – we went to go see a country band and do some dancing. She was into the 2-step dancing scene. I wasn’t, and part of all this dating was about learning something new, right? So off we went.

There are a few places in town that have their regular acts, and their regular dancers that show up and do their thing. Couples, and singles. She was giving me the lowdown as we watched – who the regulars were, what they were like, and a bit of back story on some of the characters. Everyone was quite good. I was a bit petrified, but still game. We had a go on the dance floor. I was not that good. We kept running into people. She soon escorted us off.

“C’mon,” she said, and we went to an uncrowded area near the back. She proceeded to give me a dance lesson. She was very patient. The 2-step is a very simple dance, yet I was having a hard time getting the knack of it, which is unusual since I’m a muso and plenty of rhythm. In any case,  we spent a good 20-30 minutes, muddling through in the back. At some point, we made our way back into the fray, and she began to dance with the regulars (which she was one of) as they came and asked her. I of course was totally cool – but did feel a bit inadequate due to my dodgy two-stepping. Which I think is natural. But it did change the mood of the evening.

It was time to go – it was a long date. The mood had changed, we were getting tired, and things had gone a bit strange. We went outside to our vintage cars, and kissed goodnight. It was an awkward kiss. Nothing like the first. And we went our separate ways.

But I did learn to 2-Step. Sorta.

77 \ MCM.

Posted on by Bristol

January 2016
I originally met 77 in her furniture shop. I had stopped in one Saturday afternoon. She said she was open by appointment, but I’m welcome to look around. She was very nice. Beautiful. And had a very young baby with her. She made me nervous, she was so attractive.

Sometime later, I ended up seeing her online, first on Match, then OKCupid. She was newly divorced, and yes, very much my type. I messaged her. She remembered me coming into her shop. She thought I was cute. I was in! She wasn’t quite ready to meet people. Blast. We later messaged each other. Still not a good time. Then finally, many months later, it was time. Eventually, we met.

I called her to arrange to meet. There was something a little off. She liked wine, so we met at a wine bar. I got there first. She walked in, and she was much as I remembered. Slender, elegant, high cheekbones, full lips, beautiful. She sat down.

She was very shy. Timid. Cautious. Chatting was laborious. This seemed a very different person from the person I met in the shop over a year earlier. Divorce can change someone, that is obvious. She was a single mom now, keeping that young baby nearly full time. She had shut her shop. She was working in a smoky bar up north. She painted what sounded like a bleak picture. I did my best to make it fun – again, she was keeping her cards very close to her chest.

There was something she was hiding, I sensed. I told her as much, jokingly, that she had a deep dark secret. She thought it very forward of me to ask, and she asked what I thought it was. I answered, somewhat kidding, that I thought she used to be an erotic dancer. Nailed it. I let her know I wasn’t judging at all, we all have our pasts, it’s actually kind of cool and funny. We carried on with our glass of wine, and it all had gone a bit strange. She was taken aback by my directness. I’d rather be direct than mess about and talk around things. Not always easy to do but worth striving for.

We texted later that night, and talked about seeing each other again. But we didn’t. There was too much going on there, a lot of work, and I believe if you can’t be open and willing then you are not in it. Lovely as she was.